8 Things Your Baby Will Teach You
Edition 8: One of the best parts about being a parent is how much you learn each day
As much as I like to think that I’m teaching Hayden, he’s the one doing the teaching. In fact, one of the best parts about being a parent is how much I’m learning each day.
So I’ve compiled a list of eight things that Hayden has taught me so far. I’m trying to incorporate these learnings into my own life.
1. Teach yourself efficiently and effectively.
If you’re struggling learning a new topic or skill, just observe a baby for a few days.
They follow a two-part recipe. First, they do the thing they want to get better at. They don’t learn how to crawl by sitting in a classroom. They don’t learn to crawl by reading an instruction manual. Rather, they show up each day and crawl.
Second, they self-assess, which is a skill that most adults don’t possess. Babies learn to evaluate what works and what doesn’t as they master new skills.
If baby is sitting on the floor and leans back too far, they’ll fall over. He’ll assess the situation by realizing that next time he shouldn’t lean back so far. Otherwise, he’ll fall over. You don’t have to tell him that. Baby learns his limits through this process of testing his limits by doing and self-assessing.
This powerful combination enables babies to teach themselves an incredible number of skills in the first year of life alone, including lifting that (heavy!) head, rolling, crawling, eating, talking, sitting, standing, cruising, and walking.
2. Enjoy the process.
Hayden isn’t stressing about developmental milestones. Rather, he’s enjoying the process.
He’s all smiles as he climbs a mountain of pillows over and over and over again. His tongue hangs out of his mouth and he wears a determined look on his face as he darts across the floor to know down a tower. And, of course, he shrieks excitedly as he pulls himself up to the couch to cruise from one end to the other.
One day he’ll gain enough strength, coordination, and balance to walk. Until then he’s having a grand old time.
3. Be persistent.
Hayden tries and fails over and over again—without a loss of enthusiasm.
He’s learning to stand. He recently fell over, which caught him off guard. No matter. He immediately pulled himself back up to the standing position using the plastic container and continued where he left off.
This kind of thing happens frequently. There’s a set back, but he just doesn’t give up. Instead he continues on excitedly like nothing happened. He seems to know that he’s going to master whatever skill he’s working on. It’s just a matter of time.
4. Focus on small strides.
Get a little better each day. That seems to be Hayden’s motto. Each day he makes a little progress. Not huge leaps, but small strides—incremental progress—toward larger milestones.
When Hayden first began to pull himself up into the standing position, he’d stand on his tip toes and I’d have my hands under his armpits to give him a little boost. Then, he stood flat on his feet. Then, he pulled himself up without my assistance. Then, he began to cruise. Then, he learned to get down from the standing position without my help.
And so it goes. Sometimes it’s just a matter of refining something he’s been doing for the past few days. Sometimes he adds something new.
Although Hayden’s got a ways to go until he’s walking and then eventually running. He is getting closer—one small stride after another.
5. Be curious.
If you just take a step back and observe, baby will show you why something as simple as a door stopper is so fascinating.
The fact that this little metal thing—the door stopper—juts out of the wall was enough to repeatedly draw Hayden to it. Then, he seemed to wonder what would happen if he pulled on the white cap. He soon pulled it off.
So he then pulled the cap-less door stopper and was mesmerized by the vibrating sound it made as the stopper wavered back and forth. One day he pulled so hard that he pulled the stopper off the wall. Now he likes to return to the spot where the stopper once existed.
This level of fascination exists with nearly everything.
It’s fun to watch Hayden uncover all of these layers of things in the world that most of us overlook. Everything is indeed interesting, if you spend enough time exploring its many possibilities.
6. Be creative.
Babies are creative. Hayden shows me his creative side all of the time, like the many possibilities of a water bottle.
I gave Hayden an empty plastic water bottle to explore one day, which he did by squeezing it together with his hands; touching the water spout; and dropping it repeatedly and realizing it doesn’t bounce like a ball.
But he did realize that the water bottle rolls and he can chase after it. This was such a hit, so we created a sensory bottle by putting some dried beans into the bottle. He enjoys seeing and hearing the beans as the bottle moves across the floor. More recently, we’ve also been using this bottle as a rainmaker: see and hear the beans go from one end of the bottle to the other.
Something as simple as a water bottle has offered several creative possibilities. This happens with nearly everything, from a spoon to a shoebox. Slowing down to explore an object in detail leads to an endless number of possibilities.
So we keep it simple during playtime.
We use simple objects found in our home, like kitchen utensils, laundry baskets, and empty boxes. Or simple things from outside, like a pine cone or rock. And we use simple toys, like blocks and balls.
That’s because simple things are versatile; you can iterate on them in so many ways, as we’ve done with the water bottle. Complex toys, on the other hand, usually have a single purpose or use value.
So when it comes to creativity, the lesson I’ve learned is this: keep it simple; keep it real; and let creativity thrive.
7. Learn to listen—even if no words are spoken.
Hayden has distinct cries for hunger and tiredness. He also has different hand and arm movements he uses during mealtimes.
When he swings his arms up and down, then he really likes the food being served. But you can have too much of a good thing. So when he’s had enough he’ll shake his hand back and forth as if to say “no more.” This hand gesture is different from the one that indicates that he’s had enough chicken and would prefer a bite of potatoes.
If we slow down from our busy lives and pay attention, then we can listen to our child—even if no words are coming out, yet.
8. Real food tastes good.
Hurricane Ian came sweeping across Florida and knocked out our power for a few days. As a result, all of those nicely portioned purées for Hayden had to be thrown away. I had no choice but to turn to the packaged baby food I have on hand as backup.
Until then, Hayden had only eaten homemade purées. As it turned out, Hayden doesn’t like packaged baby food—not one bit. I distinctly remember the look on his face the first time I gave him a packaged container of pears and blueberries. To me it read: “Do you really think I’m going to eat this stuff?! Have you tried it?!”
I did. It tasted awful.
Hayden isn’t a picky eater. He devours salmon, halibut, beef roast, and an array of fruits and veggies—including spinach. He just prefers real, homemade food. And it’s no surprise: real food tastes good!
***
Hayden has taught me many other things, like how to be patient and selfless. He’s also taught me what really matters in life. If you’re ever unclear about your priorities, then start a family. Your priorities will get clear real quick. This is the most valuable lesson Hayden has taught me so far. And I’m glad he did. Life is so much better with him in it.
“The road of parenthood is always worth traveling down.”
-Unknown
Thank you for reading! Feel free to reply to this email and let me know what you think.
-Amy